Chapter 61
Chapter 61
[Manager: .]
[Manager: Really?]
“Why?”
[Manager: No, really?]
[Manager: Who is it?]
[Manager: I’ve never heard of this]
“Because I never mentioned it before.”
[Manager: Who is it?]
“I can’t say.”
[Manager: Why?]
“It’s my feeling.”
[Manager: .......]
[Manager: Okay]
“Are you upset?”
[Manager: No]
He seemed upset.
But what could I do? Revealing it now would be like a confession. I didn’t want to confess knowing I’d likely be rejected.
Despite Hans’s kindness, I knew he didn’t have romantic feelings for me. It was obvious to anyone.
“Anyway, you don’t know then.”
[Manager: Don’t know]
He really seemed upset. I was worried he might not return from the Celestial Realm today.
“Will you come back today?”
[Manager: Yes]
“See you later then.”
[Manager: Okay]
After that, Hans disappeared from the list of online users.
‘...So, I got nothing out of it.’
I scratched my cheek, feeling a ticklish sensation.
* * *
Having failed to get an answer from Hans, I headed to Selena’s room next.
“Selena, how exactly should I express the feeling of liking someone?”
Hearing this, Selena dribbled the tea she was sipping. She looked utterly shocked.
“Sis, don’t tell me you’ve found someone else....”
“No, no.”
She was imagining some kind of melodrama. I quickly waved my hands to dismiss the idea.
“I’m just really bad at expressing my feelings to my fiancé.”
“Oh.”
Selena finally seemed to relax and smiled.
“Sis, you are a bit blunt. But I like that about you!”
“You too....”
I muttered, not quite understanding.
“You’ll be good with Finley.”
“Hehe, I guess so.”
Their relationship was obvious without even seeing it. Selena naturally had a lot of charm, and Finley was incredibly kind to Selena, so I could almost visualize their sweet interactions.
“It’s not hard. Just be honest!”
That’s the hardest part though...
I couldn’t exactly say that I was worried about confessing to my fiancé.
I leaned my chin on my hand and sighed deeply.
“Love seems like quite a troublesome emotion.”
“Isn’t that what makes it wonderful?”
Selena placed her hand over her chest and closed her eyes, a content smile on her lips.
“It always brings the unexpected. Unexpected feelings and thoughts.”
She wasn’t wrong. I was feeling it too.
Love really led people down unforeseen paths. Did I ever imagine ending up like this? This path was never in my plans.
“Interesting.”
“Isn’t it?”
Selena chuckled.
“Sis, your fiancé is kind to you. Just do the same back to him.”
“.......”
That kindness, it’s only in front of others. When it’s just the two of us, he could hardly be more blunt.
I didn’t even try to play it cool anymore.
Maybe I rushed things. But I didn’t regret it. Given my nature, keeping my feelings hidden and suffering in silence was something I just couldn’t do. Even if I could go back, I’d act the same.
Even at the dinner table, there was an awkward atmosphere. It was so evident that Finley subtly asked if we had fought.
Now that the cat was out of the bag, I had nothing to lose.
After getting ready, I boldly entered Hans’s room with a pillow in hand.
Hans, who was sitting on the bed reading, jumped in surprise, nearly dropping his book.
“What, what is it?”
“Let’s sleep together tonight.”
“Can’t you, please, think before you speak?”
He should know better than to expect anything else from me.
Regardless of what Hans said, I walked determinedly to his side of the bed, placed the pillow down, and laid myself on it.
“.......”
Hans quietly got out of the bed.
As he stood up, I threw out a question.
“Do you dislike me that much?”
“......!”
Hans’s eyes widened in shock at my words.
I closed my eyes as if I were about to fall asleep at any moment and continued in a calm voice.
“I know I’m just a human, and I understand you’ve never thought of me in that way. But before you avoid me outright, I wish you’d at least have a conversation with me.”
Having said so much, if he still disliked it, there was nothing I could do. The best course of action would be to gracefully accept it and move on.
Hans looked at me intently and then let out a soft sigh.
Then, he climbed back into bed, took his place next to me, and extinguished the candle on the bedside table, plunging the room into darkness.
“Alright, talk.”
“Where should I start?”
“From the beginning.”
It seemed he was willing to listen.
I insisted on telling my story, but now that I was about to speak, I felt a little nervous.
Kabir suddenly seemed admirable to me. How calmly he must have conveyed something so nerve-racking.
And I felt even sorrier for Eric. I had abruptly cut off something that required such courage.
Faces of those who had confessed their feelings to me, or had intended to, flashed through my mind.
I realized that giving love was harder than I thought. That was my solitary conclusion.
“At first, you were just someone I could rely on. You were my manager, and the sense of being a team was strong.”
“Right.”
Hans agreed. After all, that was the role of a manager.
“Then, gradually, my feelings started to tilt. People who could give me comfort were few and far between.”
I had always tried to live alone.
Not depending on others, not expecting anything. I thought I had to overcome everything on my own to survive.
Hans was the one who broke that 23-year-long mindset.
Relying on someone was more comfortable than I thought. Sometimes, it was even comforting.
I had never imagined that having just one person I could trust would give me such courage.
“Sometimes people confuse gratitude with love.”
“I thought that at first.”
I gently contradicted Hans’s words.
“What would I know? I had never experienced gratitude or love in my life. But the angels taught me.”
No one else but me.
“Gratitude.”
And.
“Love.”
Having felt both, I could assertively say there was a difference between the two.
Gratitude was something I always felt towards viewers who cared for me.
Sometimes it was overwhelming, sometimes incomprehensible, but I was genuinely grateful and accepted the affection they offered.
Then there was love, an emotion that was indescribable.
It wasn’t that I lacked the knowledge or couldn’t articulate it logically.
It was indescribable. Love was.
Unless one experiences it firsthand.
What can one do, that’s what love is.
So, the only thing I could say was.
“I.”
In a voice as if submerged in a dream, deeply muffled, I spoke.
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Hans.”
It was the first confession of love I had ever made.
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