novelzi Chapter 94 - 94: Feelings I can't lose...
Chapter 94 - 94: Feelings I can't lose...
"Haaaah…" A long sigh escaped my lips as I stared at the merchant before me.
"150 points. That's as much as I can offer," the merchant said, eyeing the mana core I had handed him. It was the same mana core I'd obtained from that mana beast that attacked me when I was
But…
… it actually feels good.
The only issue was making sure none of them caught me with the other.
Well, I knew for a fact that Nelia knew, but I chose to turn a blind eye.
"Come on, it's not like—" I started to say, but she pressed a finger against my lips.
"You're turning more and more into a playboy… I just hope I won't have to resort to extreme… measures," she purred before pulling me into a deep kiss.
"What the fuck?! You kids actually have the gall to—!"
A scream.
I tried to pull back, but she didn't budge. However, I felt it—mana.
"... Now, that was good~" She grinned.
"… You just… killed him," I said. But the truth was, I didn't really care.
Why would I?
It wasn't me.
It wasn't someone I cared about.
"… I had to vent somewhere," she said, grabbing my hand.
I glanced one last time at the corpse lying in the middle of the road.
Tsk.
'Should I check if he has any points on him?'
That was the only thought in my mind.
"Let's go."
"…Alright," I finally replied, following her.
There was no denying it.
Something had changed within me.
But it felt right.
I felt more complete now than ever.
Perhaps this was the real me.
As for the issue of Ariana—who I now knew was Renay—as much as I knew accepting her was a mistake, and no matter how many times Nelia tried to beat sense into me, telling me to forget about her… I couldn't.
I still wanted her.
After a while, Nelia finally gave up.
Well, at least, that's what I thought.
"Don't try to kill her, Nelia," I said for what felt like the hundredth time.
"…Why would I ever do that?" she asked, but there was no sincerity in her voice.
I had the same problem with Selena.
I just had this feeling that if I let things be, one of them might actually try to kill her.
I halted my march.
She turned to look at me.
"Then promise me," I said, holding her hands. Students walked past us, but I paid them no mind.
"Promise you what?" she asked.
"That you won't harm her."
She only stared at me, her eyes dark.
"…."
No response.
"I know what I'm doing is wrong. I really do. But… I just have this feeling that one day, I might lose everything. I love her, Nelia. I love you. And I love Selena. Yeah… I'm stupid, selfish—call me whatever you want. But that's how I feel. I can't lose any of you.
This world can burn for all I care.
I just want you all to be safe.
So please… don't do it."
That was the truth. The most honest thing I had ever said.
But there was something else.
Something I hadn't told Nelia.
Lately, I had started feeling more… detached.
Detached from everything.
My only anchor, the only thing tethering me to my humanity, was them.
When I am alone—when none of them are with me—I feel this… coldness.
The world becomes colorless.
"…"
She bit her lip, her eyes turning red before she pulled me into a tight hug.
"Why did I fall for an idiot like you?! You're the biggest idiot in existence… Sometimes, I just hate you," she whispered.
I said nothing.
I simply hugged her back.
I was changing.
I just hoped I wouldn't change so much that one day…
I'd forget who they were to me.
....
The update schedule just changed.
1 chap in two days.
Got an exam coming up