novelzi Chapter 578 – Can’t Be Said
Chapter 578 – Can’t Be Said
The great blows no longer silenced even the quiet, hushed whispers between the soldiers kneeling behind the sandbag defences. Those that were positioned even further away did not even whisper, they just chattered about with themselves. The atmosphere in Levhen had frozen when Tartarus first reached its western gate, then it somehow got even colder when the eastern gate came under siege. Each slam of the massive battering ram or whatever it was trying to break down the grand gates of metre-thick dwarf-bronze sounded as if it was trying to shatter the world. It was a deafening drum, a beat that set the tune in an orchestra.Back then, it had sent a sound that chilled the very air in Levhen. Only Kassandora seemed to not take notice of it. Now though, even Kavaa didn’t really react. It was odd, the only real difference she noticed at this point was that she would step to the beat and that was it. The soldiers had started talking, the mages and engineers kept on doing their constructions deeper into the hold. The world kept spinning. Up above, Kavaa was sure that the cycle of day and night was continuing although down here, the only light was from the ever-present spotlights that had been set up by the Imperial army and the dwarven glowstone which never seemed to glow dimmer. Kavaa sighed as the battering ram behind her, currently going at Levhen West, reverberated through the hold.
Men could really get used to anything.
If anyone knew of that truth, then it was Kavaa.
Three days had come and another ram had come, laying siege to the northern entrance. That meant the encirclement was complete and that Levhen had become a rogue Imperial island which stood against the onslaught of Tartarus with no help whatsoever. There would be no more reinforcements, not unless Anassa or Elassa managed to dig through the surface of the world. Communication had been cut off, fall back routes deeper into the Hold had been planned, the Holdmaster had even handed over secret documents for Kassandora and Kavaa to take refuge in the dark. Ancient storerooms and armouries that even most dwarves did not know about.
“How long do you think it will take?” Kavaa asked Kassandora. The Goddess of War stood by her side and it was the Kassandora of myth, not the Kassandora that Kavaa knew. This was the brutal Goddess of War who set a regimen for her men that was just barely possible to keep up, the Divine that one could stand next to and expect to win any battle and any war.
In some ways, Kavaa even believed it. She had been shocked when she saw Kassandora return, her face hard and her tone definitely saying this was not the time for emotionality. “Between three and eight days more. In the Great War, it would take around two weeks to break down a Hold door. I assume they have advanced in gate-breaking since then.”
“Oh.” Kavaa said. Frankly, she appreciated this Kassandora just as much as the other one. Well, that wasn’t the true really. She much preferred the Kassandora that could smile at her at least, but standing next to what felt like the Goddess of War couldn’t be exaggerated. This was Kassandora. This was Kassandora. This was the woman that Kavaa had seen act exactly as she should back when they rescued Iniri from the Jungle and when they were trapped within Baalka’s mind.
It wasn’t a matter of power, it was simply a matter of principle. Kassandora did lose wars.
“And for Iniri and Olephia to get to the core?” Kavaa asked. This was a question she had been skirting around.
“I don’t know.” Kassandora replied lightly and honestly. “Now? Tomorrow? In a month’s time? In a year’s?” She simply shrugged.
“And you intend to hold that entire time?” Kavaa asked. It was an impossible question. She knew it was an impossible question with an impossible answer. What exactly was Kassandora even say to that? Of course she would have to maintain her delusional confidence. That delusional confidence may have been the only thing that was still keeping her going. It was certainly true for Kavaa. The only reason that the Goddess of Health had not broken down yet was because Kassandora was here.
“What I aim to achieve what I intend to do.” Kassandora said and Kavaa finally noticed the difference. When they went to the Jungle, when Kassandora had made the plan to break out of Olympiada, when they defeated the Caretaker, even when they were within Baalka, Kassandora had simply stated the future as if she could bend it to her will.
“What you intend to do?” Kavaa asked and Kassandora sighed.
“Are you going to panic Kavaa?” The Goddess of War turned to face the Goddess of Health. Crimson eyes met grey ones. The two Divines stared at each other. “I said what I said, I intend for both of us to survive and to hold however long will be necessary. Will that happen?” She asked and Kavaa raised her eyebrows.
“I don’t know Kass.” Kavaa admitted. “I thought you would tell me.”
“And how am I supposed to know if Be’elzebub or Pax are behind that gate? What if Legion has been redirected to us? What if there is just an endless horde, where we simply run out of ammunition?” Kassandora asked. “What ifs are merely what ifs. They do not change the plan at this point. What will happen will happen. I have done all that I could to save you and to save myself. That is all to be said on the matter. If we hold here, then we turn the tide underground. If we fall here then it is over.”
“I don’t want that.” Kavaa didn’t even know why she bothered saying those words. Of course she did not want that. It was obvious. Who in their write mind would want that?
“Do I look like I want it?” Kassandora asked.
“No.” Kavaa answered and the conversation was ended. Kassandora simply did not reply, she just stared ahead, as if considering something. Kavaa didn’t know what. She didn’t know how. She… She stared at Kassandora. This could not be the end. It simply could not. “I want us to survive.”
“Naturally.” Kassandora said. Like a statue of stone, Kavaa struggled to get a read on the Goddess of War. Her face was blank, was she even thinking? And if she was thinking, then what about? Knowing her, it would be either battle plans, contingences or another bout of self-hatred.
“Do you have nothing to say?” Kavaa asked. “To me?”
“I have plenty to say to you.” Kassandora answered. “But now is not the time.” If now was not the time, then when would be the time? Kavaa felt herself get annoyed and took a deep breath to let the anger out. There was nothing to gain from launching into another tirade. What had been said could not be taken back and Kavaa already felt bad enough after the first one.
“So when will be the time?” Kavaa asked.
“When we’re sitting on a beach and it’s just you and me.” Kassandora said and Kavaa rolled her eyes. Proper Kassandora this, the moment was amazing and yet it was obvious that she didn’t believe it. Kavaa struggled to even imagine Kassandora accepting an invitation like that. This monster before her would need to be dragged kicking and screaming to go to the beach and Kavaa couldn’t even lift Kassandora’s blade. Fate had truly cursed them.
“I love you.” Kavaa said it again. It had to be said. Not in the heat of a moment and not when she was swept up by a tide of righteous rage, but this time, in the cold, agonizing wait of a siege. Kassandora stood there and smiled sadly to Kavaa, she closed her eyes and gave a nod of understanding. And that was it. Kavaa just said, and Kavaa waited for the return. It needed to be said after all it. And it needed to be heard. To think she actually needed to prod the woman so much. “Will you say it?”
“I…” Kassandora croaked, her throat caught and she took a deep breath. “Will you believe me that I can’t say it?”
Kavaa watched Kassandora for a moment as her mind tried to comprehend what she just heard. Kassandora not returning the feelings was… Well, it was out of the question. The woman had gone through too much to…
Oh.
Kavaa took a deep breath as she realised that Kassandora meant it literally. She could actually not bring herself to say it. Her mouth simply refused the words. “I believe you.”
Kassandora took a deep breath and the tension in her shoulders fell. “Eventually, but not here Kavaa.”
“Just make sure you don’t leave it too late.”